Day #1: Savory Sixteen

May 17, 2011

I realized a few weeks ago that I'm just not a very enthusiastic person. I don't have much school spirit, or Christmas spirit, I'm not excited for all of the invitations and things that go with graduation, I'm going to have a pretty low-key wedding; I just don't have much enthusiasm. I don't really find this worrisome, though, more practical or rational I guess. I kind of just find simple things fulfilling enough.

My sixteenth birthday really isn't all that sweet. I'm not having a party because Chitty Chitty Bang Bang opens this week so we have crazy rehearsals. I wouldn't have a party regardless, though. It just sounds complicated to arrange and then awkward thinking about who I would possibly invite and how it would be quite the motley party. I've been saying that rehearsal is my birthday party, and it really is.

Sixteen just doesn't feel like that big of a deal to me. Everyone keeps saying, "Oh, sweet sixteen!" And I can't help but thinking no.. not quite sweet. More like savory sixteen. I just don't see it as that big of a deal, I mean, I'm not even getting my license. I only have about 20 hours. I'm not too fond of driving, though I would like to get getting my license out of the way. I'm just moving from fifteen to sixteen. It feels as natural as can be, yet everyone seems to be fussing over me about it, and it feels a little strange.

I always have to seem bad birthdays anyhow. They just never seem to live up to what I want them to be, even though it seems like I don't expect much. The little things that I do expect, or hope for, or count on or whatever I guess just don't seem to work out the way I would like them to. Or it doesn't seem magical enough. I'm the kind of person who would want a surprise balloon and hugs all day and that would be a splendid birthday. And to be happy. Perhaps that is why birthdays are always disappointing to me; because they're the one day I can hope that I will, or maybe can, be perfectly happy.

Well, anyways, I read Water for Elephants recently which revived my love for elephants. And I was shopping for my birthday clothes at Buffalo Exchange and found this amazing bright sunshiny yellow retro early 60s dress. Upon closer inspection {after what I'm sure was a squeal of delight, if not it inevitably came after my next discovery} I found that the buckle on the top was nothing other than, an elephant. Nothing could be better, especially for a birthday dress. This is the relevance for the picture on this post.

This birthday is actually turning out to be quite good, even though it's a bit all over the place. A surprise sunny day, elephants, rehearsal, red velvet cake. Who cares if I don't have a party or my license or anything "sweet"? Savory is good enough for me. 

Happy birthday to me.

-Kaylyn